In April of 2021 I was diagnosed with stage 3 adenocarcinoma pancreatic cancer. After an exhausting two-week period, the consensus was: They could not surgically remove the cancer due to how it had wrapped around the arteries. It was recommended that I have an aggressive chemotherapy regimen. I was told that it was the strongest chemo that any man could receive and that it was only being given to me to prolong my life. All three hospitals that evaluated me agreed that there were no other options that they could offer me.

Prior to diagnosis

In the years prior to my diagnosis, I became aware of Mark Virkler’s teachings on hearing God’s voice and on how God speaks to me in dreams. We even did a study group with family and friends. I believed that his teaching lined up with God’s word and by faith I started receiving words that I journaled, and revelation from my dreams.

So, let’s fast forward again to April 2021. I was living my life lukewarm at best. We were getting to know God but still did not attend church regularly. I put my work first before God, and I still had hidden sins in my life that I could not overcome.

I need to also mention that my Mother died of pancreatic cancer, three months after diagnosis, at the age of 62. The same diagnosis I now faced at the age of 57.

A week after the diagnosis, the Lord gave me 3 dreams. When I went to bed that evening, I was worried about how bad things really were because I was in so much pain even with all the pain medications.  I needed to hear from God and here is the dream that He gave me. I was in a lab where they were creating nonhuman life forms. They were accusing me but the proof they had was false. I needed to get to one of the creatures so that I could get my fingerprints or my DNA back. There were other creatures in the room that were fighting and grabbing at us from everywhere. Their goal was to pull us down and stop us. I remember grabbing sharp objects off of the trays and handing them to others so they could break free. At one point I was strapped into a large machine, which had lights gauges, and monitors flashing in front of me. I didn’t know what they were doing but I understood that it was hurting me and it was hurting others also. I yelled stop, I don’t want to play anymore. I wanted out of fear and bondage. It was then that I woke up and the Lord spoke to me.

He told me the battle was over. Death no longer had a hold on me, praise God Almighty. I declared this verbally at 5:45 AM. I felt a burden lift from my chest and I felt free.

The dream revealed that Satan was holding me in bondage. That they had my fingerprints and DNA was very interesting, especially later when the doctors tested my blood confirming that I had a gene mutation that was linked to pancreatic cancer. The sharp objects that I used to cut myself free were the words of Christ. I was handing off the word to others to show them and teach them how to fight the enemy in Christ. The Lord told me that the battle was over, but at this point, I did not truly understand faith. I thought that healing was only by the miraculous anointing.

Thank goodness that God is compassionate and full of mercy, for He was teaching me step by step and leading me to trust Him.

Secret sin

In another dream, God revealed that I needed to repent. Here is that dream. I was on a business trip and got frustrated that I didn’t get anything out of the meetings. It was then that I realized that I had another day left, so I went to get ready. I wanted to take a shower but there were no bathrooms that were private. They all had another door or entry that someone could enter through. I was concerned that I would walk in on a young girl, or that a young girl would walk in on me. I finally decided to get showered quickly but the fancy shampoo I was using wouldn’t lather up.

At the time of this dream, I was physically and mentally weak. I needed fentanyl patches and oxycontin for pain that never let up, plus numerous other pills that dealt with nausea and stomach issues. In a month my weight went from 186 to 135. I could not eat, and we were praying to see if I should get a feeding tube placed in my stomach. I mostly slept and could barely get up from the couch. My wife prayed constantly over me, encouraging me to lift my arms up and praise God. When I shared this dream with her, she kept asking me questions, encouraging me to pray about it. The Lord had shown her there was more to this than what I was saying. She became so sure of this that she even left a phone message for Mark Virkler asking for help, to unravel this mystery. Later that afternoon he returned her call and spoke with us both.

Here is what he recommended to us. He told me that my dream was talking about spiritual cleansing and repenting of things that needed to be repented of. He said that my heart was a little bit nervous about some of the repenting I needed to do and that this felt too public. He explained that I did not want to be exposed. He encouraged me to confess my sins as James 5:16 says. Confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. Mark said, "The Bible is really big on us confessing our sins one to another. So when cleansing, there is some vulnerability there, other people might see into your heart, see things that you aren’t really crazy about letting anyone know were actually there. Looks to me like the Lord is saying, you need to let go of that fear. He said that I needed to not worry about being exposed, because guess what, everyone has a lot of the same issues and sins. The Lord is asking you to be vulnerable as you clean up, and be open to sharing where you are at”.

After talking with Mark Virkler, my wife said that she could forgive anything. Encouraging me to get it all into the light. As hard as it was, I finally opened up about my secret sin. I confessed that I would look at pornography and masturbate. I would feel condemned and pray but I had not been able to overcome it.  This cycle had been going on my entire adult life. God also opened up other repressed memories. Wow, talk about getting everything out in the open, feeling ashamed, and crying out for forgiveness. This time was different, when I confessed my sins and brought them into the light, God was able to set me free. My wife instantly forgave me, then encouraged me to remember all of my sexual sins. I began repenting, forgiving myself, and forgiving those associated with the memories. Feelings of forgiveness washed over me, I truly did feel free.

Now after this we truly did confess all of our sins to one another, repenting as God brought them to remembrance. God was freeing us both, revealing things that we would never have remembered without the help of the Holy Spirit. God also revealed a history of Mason’s in my family. I renounced that and everything the Lord brought to our hearts.

Here is what God said to me while journaling. "Sweet child of mine, spiritual perversion had a hold on you. He was trying to deceive you. It was stealing your future from you. When you turned to me your Heavenly Father and confessed your sins is when he was defeated. He no longer has any authority or power over you. You are free, for who the Lord sets free is free indeed. Keep a watchful eye and resist him, because he will try to come sneaking back in one day to get back what he lost. You must remain steadfast and keep your eyes on me."

I dodged a bullet

In the last dream that I wanted to share, God Himself told me that I dodged a bullet. In this dream, I was working at a tree farm selling Christmas trees. A person rides by on a horse and shoots at me, fortunately, they miss but I have a bullet hole in my jacket. Then I think that I see an upset customer walking nearby, but it’s the person who had tried to shoot me. Just then another employee walks up and introduces himself as Chris Pringle. The shooter pulls out her gun and shoots him, she says that she thought that I was him.

God spoke very clearly to me, not in an audible voice but coming up out of my spirit. “Sweet child, you dodged a bullet. I took away your sickness, bearing it for you. By my stripes you are healed. I bore your sickness and pain, defeating them on the cross. You do not need to carry what I have taken for you, my child. Be free, for who the son sets free is free indeed.”

God also shared this with me while journaling. "Sweet child, look around you. People all around you are dying or already dead in the spirit. You can reach out, touch them, save them. Bring them hope, peace, joy, and happiness. It is what I have called you to do, my child. Be a witness, testify of the love, mercy, forgiveness, and compassion that I have for my children."

Then and now

After my diagnosis, I became sicker, and had pain beyond what most people can realize. The pain was relentless, never-ending. I had no desire to eat and dreaded even the idea of food. And all of this was before they even started chemotherapy. After chemotherapy began I had nausea and vomiting followed by alternating periods of diarrhea and constipation. At one point I felt in my spirit that I was three days to death. The medical community gave me no hope. To fight this battle God guided, directed, and taught us about faith. Then teaching me how to receive from Him by faith. He gave us what we needed every step of the way. We were determined to be obedient and quick to say "Yes, Lord, yes." We desired to listen and do His perfect will. Learning about daily communion, and taking healing scriptures as medicine, we gave Him praise and glory, dancing before Him in thankfulness. Always journaling what He was saying to us, and going to sleep expecting instruction. The biggest lesson was learning how to walk by faith.

I am very happy to say that today; I live by faith, I walk by faith, I overcome by faith, and I give all the glory to God. Additionally, I am pain-free, on no medications, back to my normal weight, and I am physically and spiritually stronger than I was before. Just as He told me all through this journey, I am healed and restored. I shall not die but live and declare the works of the Lord. Since I am to declare the works of the Lord, I am available to help any other man struggling with unconfessed sin. You are welcome to contact me for prayer counsel at [email protected].